


do you see me in your dreams?

by sohnist



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Crying, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Embarrassment, Established Relationship, First Time Topping, Frottage, Humiliation, Kink Exploration, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Pet Names, Riding, Role Reversal, Shame, Subspace, Teasing, Tenderness, despite the tags it's actually pretty romantic, dom bottom hyunjoon, hyunjoon talks down to him, sub top eric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:54:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sohnist/pseuds/sohnist
Summary: eric has a secret, and hyunjoon is the kind of person who’s always looking for secrets. hyunjoon knows all of eric’s secrets, except for this one. how can he not, when eric is closer to him than he’s ever been with another person? eric’s secret is also just a word. well, a word and all of the things that come with it. the insinuations, most of all. when hyunjoon asks him, one day, as they lay in eric’s bed talking about unimportant things, if he has any secrets, it flashes in his mind strong and clear.hyunjoon doesn’t have to make any guesses but one until he gets it right.
Relationships: Heo Hyunjoon | Hwall/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	do you see me in your dreams?

eric has a secret, the kind that chews at you from the inside, begging you to break and tell someone about it. the kind that isn’t _bad_ , really, but wholly unconventional and the type of thing most people wouldn’t want to hear. but it eats at him regardless, the want sometimes thrumming in his chest so violently he feels like it could burst out of him, the way it pushes and threatens to slip through.

hyunjoon is the kind of person who’s always looking for secrets. he likes to be told them, likes to be trusted, and he _can_ be trusted, which is the most important part. he just loves to know things about people, loves to store all of their most vulnerable information in his mind. if you ask, he’ll never mention it again. hyunjoon loves secrets, but he’ll never pressure you for them. if you don’t want to, or simply don’t have any to tell, he’ll move along and find someone else to pester.

hyunjoon knows all of eric’s secrets, except for this one. how can he not, when eric is closer to him than he’s ever been with another person? maybe other people don’t expect that when they look at them, would never think that out of everyone, hyunjoon would choose to be with eric. but he did, and knowing that hyunjoon chose _him_ makes every day a little bit better. someone so seemingly untouchable and gorgeous, had chosen someone like eric. 

sometimes, it makes him feel warm all over, like he’s stepped into the sunlight for the first time on a summer morning. other times, he feels his blood rush hot and he feels _special_ in a way that no one else can make him feel. he doesn’t want to give it a word, not yet. giving it a word makes it almost seem insignificant, like he can’t summarize it with something so trivial, when it’s so much _more_ than just that.

eric’s secret is also just a word. well, a word and all of the things that come with it. the insinuations, most of all. most of the time, he chooses to ignore them, shoving them to the back of his mind and focusing on something else, forgetting about it for a little while. other times, it becomes impossible, and he lies awake for hours turning it over in his mind like he doesn’t know what to do with it.

when hyunjoon asks him, one day, as they lay in eric’s bed talking about unimportant things, if he has any secrets, it flashes in his mind strong and clear. he’s almost surprised that hyunjoon asked, thinking that he had been convincing when he told him there was nothing left to hide. he wants to tell it, wants to so badly that he feels it like a knot in his throat trying to force its way out. he doesn’t think he’s capable, so instead, he makes hyunjoon guess. he gives hints, of course, directs his thinking as much as he can without giving it away. hyunjoon doesn’t have to make any guesses but one until he gets it right.

“daddy?” 

it’s less like a question and more like a searching curiosity when hyunjoon says it, a little smile already curling at the edges of his mouth. it doesn’t help the way that the word sends heat shooting down eric’s spine and pooling in his gut as soon as it leaves his mouth, like he was slapped with it. his words are stuck on the tip of his tongue, and forcing them out feels more difficult than it should.

“you’re good at guessing,” is all he can say. an admission, but nothing more than that, too scared to delve into it on his own.

“you’re easy to figure out.” hyunjoon crowds into his space, lips coming up to his ear to whisper, “ _daddy_.”

eric feels his body shake and knows hyunjoon can feel it too, and eric closes his eyes so he won’t have to see hyunjoon’s. just that one word coming off of hyunjoon’s tongue so lightly, so easily and so _teasing_ makes his brain feel like it’s melting and coming out of his ears. he knows his face and the tips of his ears are bright red; he feels so hot he could faint. 

hyunjoon can see how much it affects him, how much it feels like everything is crashing into him too much and too fast, how he has to stop himself from gasping for breath even though there’s nothing stopping him from breathing. hearing it is like an avalanche, and it’s almost too much. if hyunjoon were someone else, it wouldn’t be so easy, and it wouldn’t feel so _good_ to tell this secret, because only hyunjoon would know exactly how to use it right.

eric only has a moment to catch his breath and gather himself before hyunjoon crawls into his lap, straddling him and pressing him back against the wall.

“you like this a lot, don’t you? like being called daddy even though you’re not the type.” hyunjoon’s mouth ghosts down eric’s neck as he speaks, lips barely touching him, and his hands dance along his sides, giving him just the barest taste. “i mean, look at you. just a couple of words and you’re already shaking like a scared puppy. shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

eric squeezes his eyes shut tighter, feeling hot shame creep up his spine and make itself known in the brightness of his cheeks. he feels tears prickling at the edges of his eyes already and the thought of how easily riled up he is just from this makes him want to cry even more. he’s given hyunjoon a weapon, and it works too well.

“come on, daddy, don’t you wanna touch me?” and eric’s hands are shaking but he does just that, resting them on hyunjoon’s hips so hesitantly like he’s never done this before. he still can’t look hyunjoon in the eyes, and focuses on the feeling that being talked to like this is giving him. it swims through him, cleaning out his mind until he feels terrifyingly empty.

when he doesn’t do anything else and just sits there, letting hyunjoon tease and prod at him, he hears a sigh, falling from hyunjoon’s lips gently but with the heavy tang of disappointment.

“looks like daddy’s gone a bit stupid. seems like i’ll have to do everything for him.” hyunjoon’s voice is so incredibly sweet and mean at the same time, that eric doesn’t even know how he’s still breathing. the word _stupid_ reverberates through him and he clings to it, what’s left of his mind latching on and savoring it, making him feel it even more than he should.

hyunjoon grabs eric’s hands where they rest on his hips and pushes them under his shirt, pressing them against his warm and smooth skin and sliding up up up until his fingers graze hyunjoon’s nipples. only then does he look up, the little hitch in hyunjoon’s breath enough for him to gather the courage.

the look on hyunjoon’s face is the opposite of how he sounds: his eyes are dark and heavy, half-lidded and staring into him; his lips are parted ever so slightly and a cruel smile hints at them. the sight turns eric’s insides to mush and he doesn’t even realize he’s let out a whimper until hyunjoon is laughing at him.

“you like what you see?” he’s still giggling, like nothing in the world could amuse him more than seeing eric like this. hyunjoon uses eric’s hands to touch himself, and all eric can do is let him.

hyunjoon lets eric’s hands go back to his hips, and uses them for leverage when he grinds down, both of them letting out a gasp at the friction. hyunjoon laughs again, a hand coming down to grip eric through his sweatpants _hard_ , so hard it almost hurts. he lets out a cracked moan at the feeling.

“you’re so _hard_ , daddy. so hard for your little boy.” hyunjoon squeezes him, punctuating his sentences, and he raises an eyebrow when he feels eric’s cock twitch at the new pet name he’s given himself. hearing those words makes him feel so good so fast that he almost feels nauseous, the intensity of it shocking him. his mouth drops open, hips bucking up into hyunjoon’s hand on complete instinct.

“do you wanna fuck your pretty little boy? have him bounce on your cock?” hyunjoon leans in to whisper against eric’s ear again, replacing his hand with his hips. eric can’t help but to whine, burying his face into hyunjoon’s neck and holding his hips tighter, pulling and pushing against them.

hyunjoon grabs eric’s hair at the back of his head, pulling him away from where he’s hiding in hyunjoon’s neck, and kisses him, open-mouthed and hard. eric moans and lets hyunjoon push his tongue into him, lets hyunjoon grind down on him and he feels _good_ , like he’s being taken apart. his hands still rest loosely at hyunjoon’s hips but he grips them hard when hyunjoon sucks on his tongue and presses his hips down _just right_ , fingers digging into his sides.

“tell me what you like about this, daddy. tell me how it makes you feel when i talk to you like this.” hyunjoon pulls away from their kiss, breathless but still somehow so together, and he makes his way down eric’s throat instead, stopping in between every few words to suck a temporary little mark into his skin and make him squirm.

“i don’t—i can’t—” eric stutters out, voice rough like he’s already forgotten what it’s like to be able to speak, brain too muddled to figure it out.

“use your words,” he says in response, tone condescending, “and maybe i’ll let you fuck me.” hyunjoon pauses to mark up eric’s collarbones, and he takes the opportunity to gather his words when he doesn’t have hyunjoon’s eyes on him.

“it feels like—like i’m melting.” and just admitting it makes him flush red again, toes curling with the embarrassment.

“you really love it when your little boy picks you apart like this, don’t you? makes your head so foggy and _empty_ , like you can’t think.” hyunjoon says it like a statement rather than a question, the sharpness of it curling around his mind and doing just what he said it would. eric feels pliant and almost _weak_ from his words, wanting nothing more than to just sink into the bed and let hyunjoon do whatever he wants.

instead, he lets out a whine, and he doesn’t know what it’s asking for, but he knows how pathetic he sounds before hyunjoon can even say anything. hyunjoon ignores it and moves a hand back down to eric’s cock, thumbing at the head of it so agonizingly slowly that all eric can do is squirm and try not to kick his feet.

“do you think you can finger me, daddy? i’ll trust you with it this time, so you have to do a good job, okay?” hyunjoon squeezes him again as he says it, and eric’s eyes slip shut and his head falls back, gargled whimper leaving his throat. he’s not sure how hyunjoon expects him to be able to answer, let alone _think_ when he’s touching and speaking to him like that.

then, hyunjoon is gone, rummaging through a drawer in the bedside table for a little bottle they know all too well. he returns a second later, triumphant, and strips off his pants and boxers before resuming his position straddling eric. he eyes hyunjoon’s cock, and hates the way that he practically salivates at the sight of it. normally, eric would be the one getting fucked, so the anticipation he feels is different.

eric is snapped out of his thoughts by hyunjoon grabbing his wrist and squeezing some lube onto his fingers. it startles him, but he tries not to show it, tries to concentrate instead on the way that hyunjoon shakes just a little bit as he helps eric spread the lube over his fingers. he’s not the only one who’s aching for something, then.

hyunjoon positions himself up on his knees, and moves eric’s hand between his legs. the tip of his index finger bumps against hyunjoon’s rim for just a second, and he feels his face flush hot. it’s different to be the one giving, and it seems like no matter what he does, it won’t be good enough.

“come on, you gonna do it yourself, or do i have to do it for you, daddy?” hyunjoon sounds almost _bored_ , grip tightening around eric’s wrist and keeping him there. the tears come back to eric’s eyes, and his head feels just as blurry as his vision, but he manages to slide a finger into hyunjoon, hesitant and shaky. he tries to focus, _wants_ to focus on stretching hyunjoon for him, wants to make him feel good, but it’s too much. he feels like everything is moving fast, and his mind can’t keep up, slipping into a haze no matter how much he protests against it.

eric knows he’s failed when hyunjoon grabs his wrist again and yanks it away, a frustrated sigh leaving him. something in eric tells him that it’s exaggerated, that it’s part of the show, but it pushes the tears over the edge anyway. he lets his eyes close, not wanting to have to face hyunjoon.

then, he feels hyunjoon’s hands on his cheeks, resting there delicately, and a soft kiss is pressed to his lips. hyunjoon’s thumbs wipe at his tears.

“okay?” he whispers, and it’s more gentle than anything else he’s said so far. eric feels something swell in his chest with the way hyunjoon is checking in on him and being sweet, even if it’s just for a moment. he opens his eyes and nods, following it up with a mumbled _yeah_ before hyunjoon can remind him to use his words. hyunjoon kisses him on the forehead, brushing back his bangs, before grabbing the lube again.

“i’ll help you today, okay daddy? just watch me.” even with how gentle hyunjoon is being, the use of that _word_ never fails to send a shiver through him. it reminds him of how needy he is, having been distracted from it for a little while.

he watches as hyunjoon leans back onto an elbow, nudging eric’s legs apart in the process to give him more room. this way he can see everything perfectly, with hyunjoon sitting directly across from him. the new position gives eric the chance to really take him in, and, as always, hyunjoon looks beautiful. he’s acting more composed than he feels, and eric can tell, not failing to notice the slight sheen of sweat on his temples and the shake to his hand as he slicks up his own fingers with lube.

eric watches closely as hyunjoon pushes a finger inside, and can’t help but to bite his lip at hyunjoon’s reaction. his eyes are closed, lips parted and breaths coming shakily as he works it in and out of himself. eric is focusing so closely that he doesn’t even notice when hyunjoon says something, and only catches the little laugh he gives when eric doesn’t hear him.

“do you like watching me fuck myself? _ah_ —” hyunjoon catches himself on a moan, and it seems like it surprises him. he adds a second finger, twisting them and moaning again. eric feels almost lightheaded from how hot it is, wants nothing more than to touch, to _be_ touched, just needs _something_ before he bursts without being touched at all.

just as he thinks that, hyunjoon lifts up a heel and presses it onto his still-clothed cock. eric startles, pushing his hips up into the touch and groaning automatically.

“didn’t think i’d— _ah_ —leave you hanging, did you?” hyunjoon’s toes curl around him, not able to do much but still trying their best, and at this point, any contact at all feels amazing. even though hyunjoon is the one who’s more exposed, who’s doing more, eric feels put on the spot. he feels shy under hyunjoon’s attention, and he covers his face, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth.

“hyunjoon, please—need you.” eric can feel his cheeks flush hot with how desperate he’s acting, canting his hips up into hyunjoon’s heel like he needs his touch to live, but he can’t help himself. hyunjoon had worked him up so well, so perfectly, had gotten into his head and loosened him up. he feels like it really is a _need_ , to be inside hyunjoon.

“what do you need? i’m fine just like this.” and hyunjoon looks more than fine, fucking himself in earnest, fingers moving with practiced ease. still, he somehow finds it within himself to tease.

“i want—i _need_ —to fuck you, please.”

“do you think you’ve been good enough, daddy?”

“ _please_ , i’ve tried to be good, i want—i want to be good.”

hyunjoon hums, contemplating, before moving his heel off of eric’s cock and slipping his fingers out of himself. he gets onto shaky knees, before sitting himself back in eric’s lap where he had been before.

“i’m feeling nice today, so i’ll let you fuck me, daddy.” hyunjoon whispers it, and the way he says it makes it feel like so much more than just something to rile him up with. he leans in to kiss eric again, and it’s full of something _more_ than just heat. it grounds eric, pulls him back into his head enough so he can grab hyunjoon by the waist and hold him closer. 

it’s nice—kissing hyunjoon. his lips are sweet, and almost always enticing, teasing him with just barely enough before pulling back and leaving him breathless and wanting. but today, there’s something headier about the way his lips move, and eric knows that he wants this just as much. no matter how needy he feels, eric will gladly take the time to kiss him.

when they separate, there’s something different in the air. it’s no longer as rushed and feels more comfortable, more of a feeling that eric doesn’t want to identify with words. he feels it flood through him even stronger when hyunjoon’s hand touches his cheek again, barely brushing against him and making him feel like something fragile and precious.

“lift your hips a little bit for me?” hyunjoon says against his lips, still pressing soft kisses. eric does what he’s asked, and hyunjoon grabs the waistband of his pants, pushing them down until they’re almost all the way off, and he’s finally exposed. even after all they’ve done, eric feels shy, cheeks going a little pink when hyunjoon looks at him.

they keep kissing and eric wonders if he does it to calm him. it definitely does, even if it isn’t his intention. hyunjoon grabs the lube as they kiss, and coats his cock thoroughly with it. eric breathes just a little shakier at the contact.

hyunjoon kisses eric one last time before sinking down on his cock. it pushes a whimper out of him and his fingers dig into hyunjoon's hips. it's intense—eric's never felt anything like it. hyunjoon is _tight_ and warm around him. if this is what it's like for hyunjoon when he fucks eric, no wonder he tries to get his hands on him whenever he can. eric already wants to chase the feeling, but he holds himself back for hyunjoon's sake. partially because he doesn't have permission, but also because hyunjoon is breathing a little heavier above him.

“hyunjoon— _fuck_ —” eric gasps out when hyunjoon sinks down to the hilt.

“shouldn’t you be calling me something else, daddy?”

it's easier when hyunjoon calls the shots, and does everything for him. it's _always_ easier, not just right now. maybe earlier, it would have been impossible for him to say it even though he wanted to, words catching and turning into a whine or an incoherent mumble instead. but with how _much_ he feels, right then, it seems more doable.

“you’re my—my little boy.” eric stutters and cringes as he says it, barely able to get the words out. they sound awkward and unsure, and he _is_ unsure, never expecting to be able to really say it out loud. he can’t meet hyunjoon’s eyes, either, instead looking down at nothing.

“you can do better than that.” hyunjoon tilts his chin up, smiling. for once, he doesn’t seem teasing. he seems genuine, like he wants to hear it, wants eric to say it and wants to help him get there. hyunjoon’s eyes are comforting, soothing him as he says it again, this time rolling off of his tongue with more ease, but still full of uncertainty and clear newness.

“that’s right.” hyunjoon kisses him gently, still smiling and radiating warmth. it feels good, to say it, and even better to hear it confirmed. “i’m yours. all yours.” hyunjoon starts moving his hips then, just gyrating them slowly in circles above him, letting out little pants against eric's lips.

those words fill him in a way he can’t describe, trembling from the intensity of it as he repeats it under his breath hushed and quick: _mine_. eric pulls hyunjoon closer to him and holds him against his chest, arms wrapped tight around his back. he just wants to be close. hyunjoon doesn't mind, choosing to pant into eric's neck instead and grasp onto his shoulders as he finally starts fucking himself on eric's cock.

there's something so, so good about being close like this. no matter the occasion, or the scenario, eric loves being pressed against hyunjoon like this, loves them being in each other's arms. it feels safe. it feels like hyunjoon understands him and cares for him in a way that no one else does. and maybe he's getting carried away but it's hard not to when he feels so much at once, and when hyunjoon treats him so sweetly. hyunjoon makes him feel _worthy_ of his affection, which is something monumental to him. as often as he feels like he isn't, hyunjoon proves him wrong.

hyunjoon rides him shaky and slow, but it's kind of difficult to do anything more in their current position. eric can tell that both of them want more, but are too preoccupied with their closeness to do something about it at first. it's torture for eric to keep still, though, and even in this position he could contribute _something_ and make both of them feel even better. earlier, he couldn't, but now, he feels like he could.

"i want to—can i—"

"what is it, daddy? speak up." hyunjoon slows his hips to a grind, leans back in eric's embrace, and looks him in the eyes as he speaks. hyunjoon looks a little out of it, with flushed cheeks and messy bangs. eric thinks it's a nice look on him.

"can i move too, please?"

"you wanna fuck me daddy? think you can handle it this time?" hyunjoon leans in to press a gentle kiss to his lips, and eric nods under him. "show me."

eric scrambles to do just that, leaning back more against the pillows and bending his knees to gain leverage. hands tight on hyunjoon's hips once again, he starts fucking up into hyunjoon to the best of his ability. right away, the both of them feel it, groaning at the change in pace. it takes eric a moment to find a rhythm, but when he does, hyunjoon falters, falling forward onto his arms and practically laying on eric's chest. hyunjoon makes breathy little whines against eric's ear and it makes him dizzy, to know how much he's affecting hyunjoon, to know that he's doing a good job.

eric moves his hands, one of them wrapped around hyunjoon's back again and the other wrapped around his waist, and fucks him even harder, holding him as close as he can.

" _shit_ , r-right there, _ah_ —" hyunjoon cuts himself off with a moan when eric rolls his hips just right.

eric pants against hyunjoon's shoulder, breaths coming out harsh. he can feel himself losing control and focus as he gets closer, heat turning in his gut and making him feel close to that emptiness again. he doesn't want to disappoint hyunjoon, but it's obvious in how his pace falters and gets sloppy.

"'m close," eric says, as a warning, and as a question.

"it's okay, you can cum when you need to." hyunjoon's voice and limbs are shaky as he props himself up on his arms again, reaching for his cock and messily fisting himself in time with their movements.

it only takes eric another minute or two to cum once hyunjoon lets him, a high pitched whine escaping his throat when he does. his hips keep moving mindlessly to chase the feeling as his head goes blank and fuzzy. hyunjoon, however, doesn't let up, and once eric starts faltering in his movements he starts bouncing vigorously to the point of near overstimulation, trying to chase his own high.

eventually, hyunjoon cums too, letting out a series of stuttered low groans. eric, still half out of his mind, watches in silent awe. he’s beautiful—brows furrowed and mouth open—and eric wants nothing more than to kiss him. eric reaches up to cup hyunjoon’s cheek, a silent plea to come closer, and hyunjoon does, leaning forward shakily until he’s balanced on his elbows. he meets eric’s lips sloppily, still out of breath, but it’s nice like this. it reminds eric that it’s real. sometimes hyunjoon is so perfect that he forgets.

“you did so good for me, baby,” hyunjoon says, pressing more kisses to the edges of his mouth, his cheeks, his jaw. the tenderness of it makes eric flush hot down to his chest.

“thank you.” eric means it when he says it, emotion flooding his chest. it’s a lot to indulge him in the first place—but on the spot like that, and to understand him so perfectly… there’s not much more he could ask for.

“there’s no need for that… you weren’t the only one who wanted it, you know.” hyunjoon giggles into his neck, a tinge of shyness to it, and for a second, eric can’t believe it.

“wait, really?”

“i always want what you want, eric. you keep forgetting.” hyunjoon lifts his face from eric’s neck and gives him the most endearing look—like he thinks eric is a little bit dumb in the most loving way possible. and maybe eric _is_ a bit dumb, but it’s hard for him to get used to being the object of hyunjoon’s affections. something about hyunjoon’s eyes makes his chest hurt, and before he knows it, he’s blurting out his confession.

“i love you.” eric says it shakily, unsure, like he surprised himself, and he kind of did. hyunjoon doesn’t look surprised at all.

“i know, baby. i do, too.” hyunjoon presses another kiss to his lips, slow but with intention, like he wants eric to feel how much he cares through it. and he does—he feels it down to his bones and sighs into it. 

there’s no one eric would rather share himself with.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you sm for reading!! i hope you enjoyed this unconventional dynamic as much as i did ^o^
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/astralmien) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/astralmien)


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